The Things They Don’t Teach You In School


By Hunter Riley

Making a romantic connection with a stranger can be a challenging but exciting journey. It’s not something we’re taught in school, so figuring out your flirting style and how to be a courteous flirter are skills we develop through practice. If you want a safe, structured space to  learn and practice come by Tractor on Sunday July 14th at 1:30pm for a Flirting mini-workshop and speed dating event. This event is designed for heterosexual people ages 25-35. If we have interest we would love to host an LGBTQ speed dating event too!

When we begin dating, no one teaches us how to ask for what we want while respecting the boundaries and desires of potential partners. We don’t teach people about getting consent to touch, kiss or have sex with someone. These are all crucial aspects of effective relationships, whether it’s a one night relationship or something more long term.

These are some of the skills you can sharpen in the the flirting mini-workshop and speed dating event taught by Matie and Hunter of Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center.

Speed dating is a fast paced adventure. Here are a few tips before the main event:

The mini-workshop will help you find ways to effectively and respectfully show someone you’re interested without being pushy or ‘creepy’.

And that bring us to the word creepy. It’s a charged word and can have a different definition for everyone – for some people it’s a look, for some it’s a vibe and it might be different for you.  If you’re in a social setting, like, say a bar that serves delicious beer in a building filled with sexy people (*cough* Tractor) here are a few tips to help keep you out of the “creepy” category.

  • Eye contact is important and powerful, so use it wisely. Everyone has their own comfort level with eye contact, so it might help to pay attention to the reaction/body language of the person of interest. Catching someone’s eyes is a great way to show you might be interested, but excessive staring without further action will make most people feel uncomfortable.

  • If you’re interested in getting to know someone, use your words to let them know. This is some of the most simple and daunting advice out there. Honest communication is difficult for most people, but it can make your interactions smoother. If you’ve caught someone’s eye and they seem interested, go talk to them and express an interest. This is the part where you may get shot down, but that’s generally a better option than trying all night, only to find the person you’re interested in has zero interest in you. And if someone isn’t interested – let it go. Being pushy with someone who said they aren’t interested is poor form and could be considered harassment. You deserve to be with people who are interested in you, so an event like speed dating is ideal for making matches and moving on.

Click here to sign up for the workshop on July 14th.